the gay gay jew (unappropriate) wrote,
the gay gay jew

seven months later: a retrospective

well i'll be good god damned: the last time i updated this thing was october 16th, 2010. what has happened since then? SO much has happened, and at the same time, how very little.

well let's start where i left off: The Sister Amy and i went to jacksonville to visit mom's grave. it was strange, really, and i tried as hard as i could to be present the whole time, but in retrospect i'm sure i drifted in and out of it some. bill had gotten a flat-on-the-ground stone, and while on one hand i remember that i was disturbed to see the engraved letters and filigree being slowly filled in by sand and leaves, it also felt... right, somehow. the natural progression of things. also of note, i got to see nick and sam for dinner and drinks one night, which helped keep me in my head a great deal.

i had nana interred, and i know now that it was absolutely the right thing to do. i don't go to the cemetery every weekend like i did at first, but i go at least once every two to three weeks. i used to run out of things to say, or feel like i had to say specific things, but i've since... not "made peace" exactly, but... gotten used to things, i guess, so i say whatever is on my mind. and the stone was finally carved last week (seeing it for the first time, i was surprised to find myself feeling happy - i thought it would be jarring, but in reality it was... it solidified things in a way i'd not experienced before, but it was good: she actually has a final permanent resting place. it's as it should be), so it feels like i'm really going to see a person, or the memory of one anyway, and not just a spot of ground.

and what else? i tried dating a guy, but the short version is, chalk another one who, once things get intimate (or at least involved - we were never that intimate), he suddenly isn't ready for a relationship. can i get a whatever? thanks. and then...well, i'm actively on the hunt for a house (i'd settled on either salem, peabody or beverly because i could never in a million years afford to buy in my own neighborhood, i can't afford the western suburbs and i don't like the south shore. plus, salem is cute! i've since then decided on beverly: property values are higher, it's got better waterfront, and downtown is cuter and more sophisticated), even though thus far everything i've seen has had fairly major structural and/or foundational problems and everything i've loved has already been under agreement, but it's a slow process, i don't mind. i also got a car, so i'm driving whenever possible, and just tonight, i graduated college!

and of course, what was my first action as a college graduate? triple pepperoni pizza and an order of cheesy bread, please! c'mon, do you know me? how could you expect anything different!

so i have a car, a degree and soon (i hope), a house. what's next? i'm not sure. dinner plans tomorrow, but that's really where it ends. i bought a bunch of books last weekend that i intend to start reading as soon as possible, i may actually do some writing of my own, and otherwise... well, i might walk home from work more often. what-what graduation yeah!

in other news, that which there is not always or i'd have updated much sooner, for some reason lj took it upon itself to center all of my entries. i have no idea why this is, but if this one is centered, it's not me trying to be an uppity douche - just lj being... well, an uppity douche. cheers!
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic